The Goddest Of My Heart

 This past four months have been really hard. After I had the surgery, my life have been a total mess. First, we had to move to a new house in just two weeks. It might look like it’s a lot of time, but it isn’t because it was two weeks to look up for papers, to pack, works at school, everything at the same time. My mother and I had to do everything alone. We were really exhausted. Those weeks were… I don’t know, really tough. I couldn’t go to the school in two days. I could barely get up from bed. Then a couple of weeks later, I fell sick. It turned out that I had influence B. My platelets and white blood cells started to get a little bit down. So, the doctor left me at home for a week and a half.

 I cried a lot those days. Nobody called or asked for me, nor friends, neither family. Was difficult to make up work that I had lost. Giving the fact that none of my “classmates” helped me. My teachers were really comprehensive. I tried to do my best and I think I did. I feel proud of myself, but sad and dissapointed at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong there. Actually, after I recovered from all this, my teachers were wondering what was the problem that my classmates had with me. My doctor (the especialist for my condition) said she wanted my mother to look up for a new school if this problem continues because it was affecting my health or she might have to leave me at the hospital for a while.

 It all went so fast! I didn’t wanted to go to a new school because I like my teachers and I am taking a vocational course besides the regular classes. Although, I don’t have friends. I don’t want to lose this two years I have spent in taking Cosmetology. The doctor wanted me to confront my classmates, to tell how I feel and what I think, but frankly, I haven’t got the time.

 Then on Thursday, we woke up at 5 a.m., we went to the laboratory, waited for the results and then to the doctor’s office. He told me mother that she had to take me to the hospital because my platelets and white blood cells were going down. So, she did. We went to the hospital there they did more tests on me, the put me a serum. I had faith that I didn’t had to stay there, but then when the tests came back, the doctors said that I had Dengue. So, I had to stay. At 10 p.m. they took me to get an X-Rays done. Then at 2 a.m. they took me to my room. There, they took me blood pressure and temperature. Then the next day, My mother had to decide whether to put a drug on me or for me to get into intensive. It was really hard for her.

 We spent really difficult days in the hospital, it was so cold, we could barely sleep. They woke me up almost everyday at 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. to take some samples, take the blood pressure and the temperature. The platelets were down and down on Friday and Saturday. We were there alone, taking decisions with faith. My mother prayed a lot for me! Thank God, on Sunday the doctor entered the room and said that I could leave because my platelets went up and I was ready to go home. Which made me really happy! ;) I’m still taking meds, but I’m home!!!! Thank God!!!! ;) ♥

This past week wasn’t easy either. I had two more episodes of my condition. It was painful, yes, but I went to school as if I were feeling perfectly fine. Which wasn’t the case, of course. I had to go to school because it have been turning a little difficult to me replenish all the works that I lose when I don’t go to the school. This year I realised that I didn’t have the classmates that I thought I had. They are not the same anymore. They haven’t been speaking to me, a lot lately. I spend my “free” classes (if I have one in the day) alone in the halls, listening to music and watching videos of you. It is difficult for me, but as my mother said to me: “Those are things that will make you stronger and from those experiences you’ll learn many things.” I’m trying to spend the time as good as I can. I didn’t do anything to them. Frankly, I don’t know why they are acting like this with me. The first days, I cried… a lot, but not anymore. That was a promise I made to my self and to my mother, because they don’t deserved my tears and they will never take away a smile from my face. I love to make friends and when I meet them, I open my entire heart to them. I have to go on, although it is a little difficult sometimes. My dreams are the things that keep me going. You know? Your character Helen Magnus, have been a huge inspiration to me because sometimes I feel like I can’t get close to anybody, because then I’ll end up hurt. And one time on the series were mentioned that Helen couldn’t get closer to anybody because then she’ll just gonna lose them, but either way she goes on. She’s strong, a fighter for what she believes it’s right, no matters if others think the same, a really determined woman and God, she made really difficult decisions through her life, plus many other things that can be mentioned about her. I think that you are pretty much like her. You’re a fighter for what you believe it’s right, a really determined woman and I know that you have had to made really difficult decisions in your life. This is why you and Helen Magnus are a huge inspiration in this moment of my life.

Thank You,

Shakira<3

This week haven’t been easy for me! Too much things going on. First of all, I had two episodes of my condition this week, which is not fun. In one of the episodes, I could barely walk and I had a lot of pain. The other one wasn’t that bad. Although, anyway, it was uncomfortable. Then, yesterday I had to go to the laboratory to get some new tests done. When I arrived, the nurses began to tell me that they missed me because they had not seen me in a while. It is hard for me. Being in the laboratory and appointments, almost 1, 2 or 3 times every month. But, what keeps me going is my mother and you, Amanda. Life is a place where we have to fight every single day, every single moment. No matter who or where we are. The strength that you and my mother transmit, is something that I will keep always present in my life, every day. Thank you for being an inspiration and a role model, as my mother.

Shakira <3